Op-Ed | Karen in America

This week I had a dinner with my longtime friend Janusz and his family from Poland. Between Janusz and me, English is both our second language. We communicate in English like it is our mother tongue. As Confucius said, what a delight to greet friends from afar! My Polish friends were here to sightsee Washington.

With its good location near the White House and the Treasury Department, the Old Ebbitt Grill always greets streams of patrons from at home and abroad all year round. My reservation saved us time from waiting. We were seated in a booth as soon as we checked in at the door. I sat on the extra chair by the table. On my left are seated Janusz and his daughter Beata who both speak English; on my right, Janusz’s wife Mal and my other-half AZ, both of them are monolingual–Mal speaks very little English, AZ speaks no Polish.

A stout, bearded and bespectacled waiter, in his mid-forties, and in his white uniform, introduced himself Wojciech–a name so foreign that it’s easier for me to forget than to remember. I only learned the spelling of his name after the meal from the printed receipt. Thank god for the receipt!

Wojciech understood his clientele: the rich and powerful politicians, the spendthrift tourists, or the curious first-timers. The minute he brought us menus, he began his pitch, from the cheese and oyster menu to the wine list, from sigature appetizers to the chef’s recommendations, and at last, he sophisticatedly left us a quiet moment for decision making.

“Oh,” Mal exclaimed in accented English, looking at the long menu, “I need translation!”

We all looked at Beata who sat across from Mal when Janusz and I were busy catching up in English. Mal looked happy as she listened to Beata speaking Polish to her. 

Moments later, Wojciech returned and took our order. We all decided to order a bottle of Californian wine to share.

“Who are going to drink?” Wojciech asked cheerfully. He must be happy as his pitch hard earned a bottle of wine sold.

We raised our hands simultaneously like the ardent volunteers on a TV game show.

“Four,” Wojciech said after a quick glance at our raised hands, and wrote it down on his pad. He continued, “well, I need to see your IDs, young ladies.”

As Wojciech averted his eye to Beata with a commanding look, Beata submissively handed her foreign ID to him.

“B-E-A-T-A,” Wojciech gave a careful look at the ID and enunciated the name in the most authentic Polish sound, then the whole conversation was all Polish to me.

Mal and Janusz looked radiant as if a lightbulb in a dark room was lit at the most needed moment. Wojciech’s beard was alive on his face as he talked without punctuation. They were conversing in Polish back and forth, a lot of heavy-sounded consonants jumping to my ears.

“And you,” Wojciech said to me in English, faking a stern look behind his glasses. After I showed him my ID, he said teasingly, “Don’t worry, they’re all talking good stuff about you.”

I laughed, we all laughed. What are the odds that we were served by a funny Polish waiter when my dear friend Mal was lost in our English conversation moments ago?

AZ and I must have looked so lost, bug-eyed and quiet. Janusz came to our rescue. He translated for us after Wojciech patted his belly and left our table. It turned out our waiter was born and raised in northern Poland. He was very proud of his careers: he had served in the Polish army in the past and now he served in an American restaurant as a waiter. In his Polish expression, lepiej dla twojego żołądka, it’s better for your stomach.

As the evening went on, Wojciech returned a couple of times to check on us. Every time he stopped by our table, he did not forget to speak Polish to my Polish friends. Everyone was lightened up. As was Wojciech’s face. I saw his beard was dancing Krakowiak, the Polish folk dance, as he had the lively facial expression accompanying his Polish monologue to our guests. Was my vision under the influence after I sipped some wine?

“He must be really homesick for his mother tongue,” I said to Janusz after Wojciech left.

“He surely is,” Janusz responded, beaming.

We had a nice evening, a memorable one, indeed. Like my friend Janusz says, it’s serendipity that we met in America, not in Poland, not in China. And it’s a serendipity that we met Wojciech that night in the Old Ebbitt Grill, a restaurant that now left an impression to me because of its diversified staff: a Polish-speaking server, a Muslim receptionist with a headscarf, a biracial Asian American server who took our picture, Latin and African Americans staff members are common. This is an American restaurant, and this is the United States of America–a melting pot of races and cultures. Welcome to America, my Polish friends! 

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Thanks to my Chinese, I understand the Mandarin dialogue and the Chinese cultural nuances in the movie “The Farewell” directed by Lulu Wang. The movie title in Mandarin Chinese literally means “DO NOT TELL HER” (bie gao su ta). I find it more apt for the movie than the English title. After all, the movie is about a family secret—the grandmother in the movie is diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and is predicted to have a few months left to live. Her children, grandchildren, sister, and even physician are all hiding the truth from the patient.

Why? According to the film, one, the concealment of cancer diagnosis from the patient is a common practice in China. A cancer patient is more likely to die from fear than from the disease itself; second, a cancer patient should live without the burden of knowing he/she is dying. This is from the viewpoint of an involved family member; third, in Chinese society, an individual’s life belongs to a collective group of people, which differs from the Western individualism.

As I was watching the movie, I couldn’t help drawing a parallel with my memoir, “Golden Orchid”. I’ve also kept a similar family secret. My father decided not to reveal the truth to my mother that she had terminal colon cancer. And his decision drove me to keep a “white lie” as the physician in the movie described it. Thinking back, I must have been a tough kid to share the load of a family secret, or to just begin learning how to handle death in a delicate Chinese way.

The movie highlights the Chinese perception of America and Chinese family values. Filial piety, family reunion dinners, a wedding banquet, so on and so forth. And yet, these Chinese traditions are, as a matter of fact, facing a challenge with the rapid modernization of Chinese society. Modern Chinese are willing to accept, and aspire to, the Western ideas and lifestyles. Chinese millennials are more individualistic than any generation of their forebears. Urbanization and AI technology allow modern Chinese to break traditions for happiness and self-contentment. It should be a common sense for many well-to-do Chinese families: How come Nai Nai in the movie isn’t sent abroad for medical treatment? Why does Billi’s family leave the dying Nai Nai after the wedding? Why doesn’t Billi or her parents stay if Nai Nai’s days are numbered?   

Perhaps I ponder too much because the movie theme is too close to home. But like what I learn in MFA classes, the reader’s emotion needs to be built on as the story progresses. Perhaps the title “The Farewell” gives too much weight to the death, but the fictitious family in the movie has fallen short of delivering that power of the family secret. In addition to that, a spoiler here, the closing credit gives the audience hope. No wonder the movie is categorized as drama—slash—comedy. Given the restricted time and budget of a feature film, the Chinese elements may work in a movie to enrich its storytelling. But just like how an American would warn a foreigner, don’t believe everything you see in a Hollywood movie. It doesn’t represent the real American life. I think a real Chinese family will handle a similar family crisis more profoundly.    

The movie has an all-Asian cast regardless of the nationality of the cast members. By ethnicity, they are all East Asians, from Awkwafina (aka Nora Lum) to Zhao Shuzhen, from Aoi Mizuhara to Diana Lin. It’s high time Asian actors take on leading roles in Hollywood films. Kudos to that!

If you want to know about an ordinary Chinese family handling a family crisis, “Golden Orchid: The True Story of An Only Child in Contemporary China” is a good starter. Don’t forget to share your thoughts with me!

Q: What date is today?
A: July 15th.
Q: Oh, do you know what day is today?
A: Monday.
Q: Yes and no.
A: Why no? (NB: A’s role is swapped. A asks instead.)
Q: That’s not what I mean. Today is Amazon Prime Day. (NB: And Q answers.)

Thank you for your indulgence for my little soliloquy. (You can find more about my internal dialogues in my memoir “Golden Orchid“.)

I happen to learn about Amazon Prime Day over the past week. I’ve heard about it but I never get to a degree to pay close attention to it. This year’s Amazon Prime Day seems to be more noticeable than before. Maybe its ads are omnipresent–from the special print on the Amazon package envelopes to its home website, to the news coverage on the prime time TV news.

For me, it’s hard not to make a comparison between Amazon Prime Day and Alibaba’s Singles’ Day (Guanggun Jie in Mandarin) which falls on November 11. My experience with the latter precedes the former.

I wonder who is the copycat? It becomes clear that Amazon is looking to Alibaba for inspiration.

Pardon my ignorance. I just learned online that Amazon Prime Day began on July 15, 2015 to celebrate Amazon.com’s 20th anniversary. Since then, the annual shopping holiday features a large number of sales and promotions that are exclusive to Prime members. Many online shoppers call it “Amazon’s Black Friday” although the Prime Day does not necessarily fall on a Friday.

While in China, Singles’ Day has nothing to do with Alibaba’s online festivity when it first started in 1993. Some university students in Nanjing picked the day–November 11–in honor of being singles, because 11/11 consists of four “ones”, representing four singles. The idea was soon in the domino effect, spreading to many other university campuses, and then the public media, social media and domestic merchants. In the end, Jack Ma picked up the idea in 2009 and turned it into an online shopping extravaganza in his flagship website Taobao.com.

Alibaba’s Singles’ Day sales have reached world records year after year, making billions of US dollars in a single day. According to a Forbes article, last year’s Singles Day was the world’s largest shopping festival with US$30.8 billion in gross merchandise volume. How can that amount of green notes not arouse the green-eyed jealousy of the tech giants elsewhere?

If you don’t like money, you cannot be a businessman. If you can’t make money, your busineess can’t survive. What makes an entrepreneur stands out is his vision, ambition, and a little greed helps. In this respect, Jack Ma and Jeff Bezos are in the same club.(You may also count the incumbent 45th US President.)

Under the wings of motherland China, Jack Ma’s Alibaba is invincible at home. As more and more Chinese people rely on e-commerce, there will be more new records on Singles’ Day in the near future, unless the law of supply and demand is disrupted.

This year marks the 4th anniversary of Amazon Prime Day since it started, but it’s also the longest period for 48 hours. So if you miss today’s sales, you’ll still have your chance tomorrow.

Q: What date is today?
A: July 16th.
Q: Oh, do you know what day is today?
A: Tuesday.
Q: Yes and no.
A: Why no? (NB:A’s role is swapped. A asks instead.)
Q: That’s not what I mean. Today is Amazon Prime Day. (NB: And Q answers.)

Voice Over: Does it sound like a Groundhog Day?

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I remember when I was younger living in Chinese megacity Guangzhou, I never brought a shopping list for my grocery shopping. Grocery shopping was a daily routine, because there were many small stores in a walking distance near where I lived. I could do grocery shopping wherever and whenever. And my good young memory also helped.

After I moved to the US, I learned my lesson that I couldn’t do grocery shopping on a daily basis. The closest supermarket to my apartment was 10 minutes away—not on foot, but by car. And I didn’t have a car. So every weekend I carried my 45L backpack with a shopping list in hand—as I grow older, my memory seems to be more selective. I walked about 20 minutes to the supermarket, and an extra 10 minutes for walking back with a hefty load on my back, sometimes in my hands too.

Today following Amazon’s e-commerce trend, several supermarkets in my community are touting online grocery shopping. Giant, Walmart, Wholefood after purchased by Amazon and many alike are trying this new market.

That’s not news to me, because in Guangzhou, China last December, I had experienced the convenience of online grocery shopping. It’s Jack Ma’s another brainchild in China—the Hema stores which blend bricks-and-mortar stores with online shopping experience.

However, there’s a key prerequisite: customers need to download the Hema app on their smart phones.

All the Hema supermarkets are cashless—meaning even you have money in your pocket, you cannot shop at these stores. (In my opinion, this is the discrimination toward people who pay cash for everything.) With the Hema app, customers can do self-checkout in the supermarket or shop online. Fresh produce and prepared meals will be delivered to their homes after the buyers complete their e-payment online.

Alibaba opened its first Hema—Hippo Fresh—store in January 2016 in Shanghai and the idea of online grocery shopping has gained popularity in Chinese coastal cities. I think if Amazon’s online grocery experience were available in China, Alibaba’s Hema stores may not be faring that well. Alibaba is a lone e-commerce giant.

In the US, online grocery shopping is still very young. To provide satisfactory online shopping experience, a store needs to hire sufficient workers to pick up the online orders from beginning to the end. But in many cases, supermarkets are often understaffed. While most of supermarkets provide parking spaces, it wouldn’t be a surprise that it may be faster to drive oneself and shop in the store than order your grocery online.  

I do notice the way that some American customers itemize their shopping lists is changing. They keep their lists on their smart phones instead of on a piece of paper. It’s paperless! Grocery coupons and savings are also changing from printing to electronic. It’s paperless, too! That’s the power of a smart phone—as we empower our phones greater, will that make us stupider?

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Happy Fourth of July!

This is a holiday for every proud American at home and abroad, native born and naturalized citizens, young and old. When I see the red, white and blue Star-Spangled Banners flying outside buildings and monuments on this special occasion, I’m very moved and proud. I’m a five-year-old American from the day I sworn in at the citizenship ceremony. And this year marks the 10th anniversary of “Karen’s Landing”. (For definition, click here) So I’ve been doing a lot of reflection over the past decade.

For many Chinese, the United States is an aspiring destination for living. In their eyes the U.S. is a country of freedom with top-notch technology, education and medical care. When I was a kid, a few of my parents’ friends immigrated to America. When they returned to China for family visits, their accounts of their life overseas were always positive. I didn’t know whether they told the truth, that they enjoyed their life in America so much that they were not used to the Chinese lifestyle during their visits.

On the contrary, I’ve met natural-born Americans who have lived in China for many years. No matter how much they like China, and how appealing Chinese culture and people are, they still would like to return to the States or travel outside China for a short period during their long stay in China. Yes, they say they want to go home to visit family and friends; they say they miss certain food or hobbies or entertainment that they cannot get in China. The life in China is very different from that in the US. But these Americans never say they rather live in China for good than in the US. There will be a “someday” these American expats will return home. And China is most likely not home to them.

I think the similar reason has drawn new immigrants from all over the world to make a living in the United States. The U.S. is “the land of the free and the home of the brave”. As an emerging writer, China gives me materials to write, and the States provides me with freedom to create. On this land, as long as you dare to dream, and put your dream into action, step by step, you’ll obtain something–it could be your goal, it could be another opportunity better than your goal. Even it’s a failure in the end, you have lived a free life with dreams.

Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness–nothing is more succinct than this well-known phrase to describe the common values of humanity. Not many society around the world can truly enjoy and celebrate these “unalienable rights”. China is definitely not on the list of free countries. On this Fourth of July, this famous phrase in the US Declaration of Independence, which also appeared in my citizenship test, reverberates in my mind loud and clear.

And I can’t help saying, “I’m proud to be an American. And I can’t believe I AM IN AMERICA.”

Hello! My long-waited column is back online. Phew! But now I’m a published author–Karen Zhang.

In the past few weeks, I was busy building this professional website from scratch. Well, this is totally unexpected. Just like when your reliable chef is out for personal emergency, you gotta learn to cook! My web geek laid the groundwork and gone for personal emergency, so God helps those who help themselves. My little wisdom was called to the field.

I was frustrated and mind-boggling at the beginning, but thanks to the online tutorials and tip from the experts, I developed and designed my website bit by bit, like a baby learning to crawl and to walk. I was a layman to begin with, and now I see myself an amateur. Aha, isn’t this American DIY spirit?

But if you are a perfectionist, you’ll never get your website launched. Because this is a very time-consuming task. And the more you know, the more you want to make improvement for your website. Not to mention, there are tens of thousands of plugin developers who bring their new products to the market. So you’re never running out of things to learn about web design.

I must thank free access to the Internet. It may mean nothing to those who were born and raised in a society of free information. But for those who have lived in a state of information drought, the unrestricted Internet access is like rain on the desert. I don’t think I could resort to Baidu–China’s equivalence of Google–for my DIY web development if I were doing this project in China.

Google is the lifeline of many people in the free world. In fact, our belief in Google has become an addiction, and even a superstition. Check out the latest movie “Yesterday” you’ll see what I mean.

Well, I gotta complete my project. Before I go, I just want to say proudly that, I can develop my website on WordPress ver 5.2.2. Action speaks louder than words. Yay!

If you’re interested in my memoir “Golden Orchid”, don’t miss Karen Zhang’s author event at 7pm, July 1, Corinth Free Library. See ya there!